A.O. Avalon

oooh, I was just thinking "shot" would work better, but "knifed" is great! Bravo!

I disagree with some of Winter's edits. In theatrical works, yes you would want to cut out descriptisions--they inhibit the actor. However, in fiction, the only way for the audience ...

AOA was not joking, and she apologizes for being so slow about it, but she's been busy. I think every writer who truly loves their art tries to become published. ...

"While" doesn't work for me, it implies concurrent actions, not cause and effect. The fear disappears because of the parents presence. "Makes" seems too simplistic. Time to pull out the ...

No worries. It was funny, it made me smile (the poem I mean). And as for rhyming...I think you'll find a considerable number of people on this sight who will ...

Boundless was bothering me, at first, but now it sounds right, go figure.

Would it BE better, even.

Would the third stanza better as: "Red lips-wax Brown stuble-light beard pressed against a cheek. Fear drifts away." OR "Red lips-wax Brown stuble-light beard pressed against a cheek and fear ...

Make it not suck. And could there be a bit with a dog? (I

*beams* I'm so glad people like this poem so much. It's actually a Christmas present for a dear friend of mine, and so I'm glad it isn't horrible. yay!!

Thanks for the spelling things, bubble, I'll fix them. (I am the reason Spell Check was invented, I swear to God(dess).) Thank you guys!! I really love this poem, so ...

The book is Audrey, who is also Tina. We're talking about an actual Alexis. (Go to A for help, she'll know who I mean.)

i'll muck around with it. btw, have you figured out who this was inspired by? *hint* the title tells you.

Bubble, this is beautiful. I don't have the words to describe the well of emotions it brought up in me. It could have easily been a clique fest, but instead ...

mmm yes i am bad about dismissing my incidentals...i think i'm going to edit the number of characters right there... Nancy and Patrick are both pretty unecessary.